The Digression Lives! Elsewhere!

Here's some exciting news to all of my faithful readers! Both of them!

After a couple months off from Digression posts, and I am happy to announce that The Digression is back online! Wahoo!

Well, sort of.

Actually, the physical incarnation of this blog will officially end here, but the basic idea of this blog will live on at another site. Same idea but improved! A "The Digression 2.0", if you will.

For one thing, I'm able to use the name I actually wanted to use in the first place, but was already taken on Blogger. For another thing, I'm widening the scope of it just a tad which I'm hoping will keep my inspiration fresh.

All of my faithful readers (both of them) may see a few posts from this 1.0 blog showing up on the 2.0 from time to time. Don't worry, though. I'll try to keep it populated with mostly original ideas.

The new site, Scroggles, is the brainchild of my entrepreneurially (wow - my fingers need to rest a moment after that word) minded friend, whose blog can also now be found at this new paradise for bloggers. The site is in its infancy, but we're all hoping for some great things from a range of creative and dedicated authors - and, occasionally, from me, too. Who knows? Scroggles could be the next blogging powerhouse! And you can say you knew us all in the beginning.

And now, without further ado, here is the link to the resurrected blog:

Digressions and Other Inconsistencies

Thanks for reading! Now go read the new one!

The Dormant Blog

The point of this blog was pretty narrow, and, as I previously posted, I don't really have the time or energy to keep this blog updated according to its purpose. So, this blog will probably go dormant for a good long time.

That being said, I do keep another "personal" blog that's a more traditional, "here's what I'm doing these days", "here's two quick lines on this random subject" kind of stuff. You may or may not be interested in that. But, at least you've been warned.

Catch my other blog here, at Redundant Paradox.

Cantankerous Teleporting Squirrels

And now, for my most audacious post, yet. I will attempt to expound on the nature of furry beasts who magically disappear and reappear somewhere else at the same time, causing havoc and confusion wherever they have been sighted (or not sighted). Just ask Hank from a local hardware store, who was asked to describe what he thought when he didn't see a Cantankerous Teleporting Squirrel on the shelves with all the caulk.

"I was confused", Hank says.

There you have it! Havoc and confusion! You heard it you here first, folks!

Okay, I give. This post isn't really about nasty CTS's. It is, instead, about something else with the same acronym. Something that, if you had read it in the title, you may or may not have read the post. Since I'm a blogger who craves attention from as many readers as possible, I decided to lie to you to get you to read this. Then, after you were deeply concerned about supernatural rodents (and the havoc and confusion they cause), I would tell you the real subject of my post.

I am ashamed. Those readers who feel scammed have my permission to go elsewhere. Please see my links for interesting fellow blogs.

Still here? Brave souls.

The CTS I'm really going to talk about is Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

What is Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, you ask? It's a very unusual disease that plants an uncontrollable desire in the victim's mind to spend as much time as possible exploring caves in Russia's mountainous regions.

There I go lying again! Shameful!

Actually, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (which I will now revert to referring to as CTS - but remember: I'm not talking about squirrels!) is a very irritating condition that affects the forearms and fingers of the victim with tingling fingers, stiff forearms, and, if left untreated, can eventually result in nerve damage and reduced use of the fingers.

As a musician who has slaved for hours over music, and also as a programmer, who has slaved for hours over a computer keyboard, I have the dubious honor of dealing with CTS. Admittedly, CTS isn't like cancer, flesh eating bacteria, or getting stung 13,283 times by a raging horde of doped up tripping Africanized honey bees. In the face.

Nevertheless, CTS can be extremely irritating. Since I've been trying to get my bassoon playing back in shape lately, while continuing my full time duties as a programmer, I've really been feeling that special feeling lately that reminds me of wearing extremely constricting gloves with tiny little needles lining the insides. So, after programming all day, then spending a couple hours practicing the bassoon, I hope you can understand that, many evenings, the last thing on earth that I want to do is sit down at a computer keyboard - again - and try to be creative by posting something on this very blog.

There have been times in the past that I've neglected my blog, and have then come back with sincere sounding apologies and lame excuses, always with a promise never to do that again. This is different. This is a real excuse. This is both an explanation why I have once again been neglecting my blog, and a warning that, at least for the next few months, I probably will continue to post very little.

I hate having to admit that. I really enjoy the whole blogging concept, and I think it's extremely rewarding to sit down with the sole purpose to think up, and write something down that has the potential to be creative, and maybe a little funny. Sometimes, the thoughts for my posts come to me as I'm typing, and often take me in a completely different direction than where I originally intended to go with my thoughts. I think that's fascinating.

Nevertheless, I'm going to have to take it easy for a while. I'll keep posting the "fluff" stuff, like videos I come across, pictures I find on Flickr, and interesting blogs I discover. You're also welcome to check out my own budding photo albums on Google's Picasa Web Albums.

Yup, there's those gloves, again. What a weird feeling. To all my faithful readers (both of them), thanks for reading, and keep stopping by occasionally. You never know what you might find.

Just don't expect to find Celtic Tombs that Shout. You can refer to them as CTS's, as well.

Flick Fotos #2: Eve

I stumbled on to these photos by a photographer in Iceland, whose work is absolutely fascinating, in an eerie surreal sort of way. I highly recommend that you check her photos when you get the chance! Start with her Portfolio set to get a look at her own favorites.

Painfully Funny: What We Call the News

When you find a video that happens to be really funny, you consider yourself lucky. When you come across one that tells a compelling truth, you consider yourself uniquely lucky. When you come across a video that is both you have to pinch yourself to make sure you're not just dreaming that you're insanely lucky.

Here's a hilarious video that's so funny you won't even realize how painfully true it is until it's over.

What We Call the News | Send To Friends | Funny Animations at JibJab

March Madness Colorado Style

In a very recent post, I related to you how winter's snowy grip had finally broken, and we were all liberated with the promise of balmy days, breezy afternoons in a hammock, and cool frothy drinks. With the writing of that post, I proved that, even after two years as a Colorado resident, I remain naive in its climate. In other words, it snowed again a few days ago. Welcome to March Madness, Colorado style. And no, I'm not referring to an NCAA tournament.

I forget that late March can bring some real doozies of winter storms - the last desperate gasps of a dying season - including inches of the now unwelcome frozen white stuff. Mind you, the early spring snow is wet, heavy, and usually melts off in a couple of days. However, the psychological effect on the residents watching the snow pile up again on their yards is intense. Even though, from a psychological standpoint, the explanation of the exact scientific effect on the thought patterns of the resident can be very complicated to describe to the average lay person, I will nevertheless attempt to do so now:

"Crap."

It is complex, I know. Hopefully, that explanation does justice to you. However, as it is now sunny, warm(er), and slowly getting green, I will now move on, and officially declare the iron grip of winter in my own mind to be severed. HA!

The one thing I do like about winter is the time I get to spend indoors discovering new friends on a daily basis. How is this possible, you ask? It's quite simple: A little technology known as "email". Did you know that I get, on average, over 100 new emails a day? Most of them are from new friends just waiting to get to know me! In addition to the joys of getting to know all these new people, they return the favor by offering me incredible deals on software, prescription drugs, stock tips, and even, on rare occasions, the chance to make millions of dollars, just for helping a financially oppressed foreigner retrieve money from his bank account! Is email great, or what?

Some of my new friends like to send me stories in addition to their amazing offers. I think their prose is nothing short of genius. Basically van Goghs of email. Here is one amazing example:

He fancied that, when he was gone, she showers, and the quantity of the rain which will fall, in the various resolved that, at all hazards, she should be destroyed. She accordingly Ptolemy, in fact, made it a special object of his policy to accomplish reproached Alexander in the bitterest terms for being of so debased and erected for its reception, that it might be safely preserved until the seclusion, and to open it in some measure to the intercourse, as well as throne.

I tell you, literature like that brings a tear to my eye. Such depth of emotion! Such symbolism! I've asked a couple of my new friends what meaning they had in mind when they penned their bastion of intellectual achievement. At times, due to my grammatical pet peeves, I've reminded them of some corrections they could make. The darn thing is, I've never received any response from them.

I'm beginning to think my new friends are kind of shallow. Oh well. I still hope that my new friend "Huttigttr enloe", or possibly "newJeep Hardtop" will one day write back.

Speaking of friends, some "friends" have been popping up lately that I could quite honestly do without. Please don't think me shallow. I think newJeep, Huttigttr and I will eventually get along fine. No, I'm talking friends with eight legs. The aliens on Earth. Spiders!

I've posted my low opinions of spiders before, concentrating on the mounting evidence that they are, in fact, extra terrestrials bent on the domination of Earth. The last few days have only contributed to this theory.

Consider the impressive acts of teleporting I've witnessed with them. A couple days ago, I was walking my dogs. It was a gorgeous sunny day, and the dogs and I were thoroughly enjoying the outdoors. I looked down at the handle to the extendable leash (you know what I mean - the devices that are a cross between an actual leash and a fishing rod reel, except that your catch is large and furry) I held, and found myself staring at a spider that had appeared - out of nowhere! - on the button to stop the leash from extending! I swear this alien wasn't there two seconds ago! And yet, there it was, this eight legged warrior, staring up at me with its two rows of eyes casting a look of disdain, its bulbous back-end pulsating (this is what spiders do to hurl insults at their enemies). It was obvious that he had waited for me to try and push the button, when he would have unleashed his venom into my thumb. Treachery! I shook the handle violently, knocking the spider off the leash, but not before a breeze appeared out of nowhere, and caught him and the web he extended, and spirited him into the atmosphere. Poof! Gone! Not only can they teleport, they can control the weather!

I think I'm going to start a separate blog really soon to document my theory that the world will soon be run by arachnids. I'll provide a link to all of my faithful readers (both of them) when it's up. I think I'll call it "Arachnid Conspiracy".

I've been searching the internet for efficient spider killing machine. I have yet to find one that, in addition to blotting out their evil lives, will also dispose of their bodies and clean the surface in an efficient way. However, I did discover the most inefficient orange juicer on the planet.

Since I'm all out of things to talk about, I'll leave you with the link to this model of inefficiency. Enjoy it. Meanwhile, I'll be out on my hammock, sipping a cool frothy drink.

I'll make sure the drink is purple.

Flickr Fotos #1: Street Bassoonist

Bassoon
Originally uploaded by DCE.

I've recently started exploring the wonderful world of Flickr. The amount of scenic, crazy, weird, and just fascinating content in general on Flickr is amazing. To that end, I'll be posting some interesting finds from Flickr on this blog from time to time.

I came across this photo while browsing "bassoon" tagged photos. What can I say - I'm a little biased by my vocation.

When I saw this picture - of a street bassoonist, of all things, I couldn't resist blogging it. Bassoonists are a rather rare breed in general. A street bassoonist is amazingly rare!